


To Far

by Bhishak



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Feels, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2016-07-25
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bhishak/pseuds/Bhishak





	1. Mental Breakdown

Benji Dunn is a great technician.  
He works at IMF as a field agent with the love of his life Ethan Hunt.  
Together they fight side by side with their teammates William Brandt and Luther Stickell.  
Together they save the world from terrorists.  
However with every mission comes new dangers, some small while others almost claim one of their lives.  
Now Benji can't help but take those moments and play them over and over again in his mind.  
With each play through his fear of losing the love of his life grows more and more.  
Usually Benji can hold all these fears in but today those fears seemed to take a hold of him stronger than usual.  
In these moments having Ethan in the same building as him would calm his nerves, but today Ethan was out on a mission risking his very life, again.  
Just thinking about not seeing Ethan alive again brought tears to his eyes.  
Not many people know this but in these dark moments he can’t help but think how pathetic he must seem to everyone around him.  
I mean he isn’t as strong as Ethan, he isn’t a great analyst as Brandt, and for god sake he can’t even compare himself to the level Luther is on when he’s Hacking a computer.  
These thoughts bounced around in his mind torturing him throughout the day until he couldn’t take it anymore, that’s when the tears in his eyes finally escaped.  
Not knowing what to do he ran to their shared bathroom and locked himself inside as he cried his eyes out with each thought that assaulted him.  
He ran over and sat in their tub as he turned the shower on, letting the cold water run over his face as it masked the tears running down it.  
As his clothes became soaking wet he slowly reached into his pocked and pulled out an old friend.  
The tub slowly filled as he opened his hazel eyes only to stare at the sharp blood stained razor he held in his hand.  
He sat there thinking about all the times he screwed up and nearly got himself and the people he loves killed with his stupidity.  
Taking a full solid minute to think about everything he has done wrong and everything he will do wrong in the future, he took a few deep breaths as he made up his mind.  
Taking the old rusted razor and pressing it to his wrist, he let one last tear fall from his eyes as he started to applying pressure.  
Benji’s world grew darker as little droplets of blood slid passed the blade’s sharp edge and down his arm.  
Everything seemed to slow down and almost stop completely as the world shut down all around him, then out of no where there was a knock on the bathroom door.  
Caught completely by surprise he jumped, but in doing so the razor’s blade dug deeper into his wrist causing a deeper cut than he wanted.  
Not sure what to do he sat there and watched his own blood run down into the tub and mix with the water below him. In complete shock he failed to notice the man he loved was standing right behind the door that separated them.  
Oblivious to the scene behind the door in front of him Ethan was smiling away as he took his tie and shirt off. Finding it weird that there was no response he knocked again, “ Hey honey do you want some company in there? “ Receiving no answer he began to worry, “ Is everything alright in there? “ He tried opening the door only to find it locked which turned his worried state into a panicked one. “ Benji why’s the door locked, BENJI?!”  
On the other side of the door Benji himself began to panic as the room spun out of control as he started hyperventilating. He couldn’t take his eyes off the mistake he made, he was completely transfixed until the sound of Ethan banging on the door in front of him got louder and louder bringing him out of it.  
Unfortunately his eyelids got heavier and heavier causing him to lose consciousness, the last thing he heard as his eyes slid shut was the bathroom door bursting open.


	2. Chapter 2

The tub was over flowing, the ground was covered in both blood and water. Benji slid under the water as he lost concesness, the last thing he heard was Ethan slamming himself against the door and busting through.

Ethan rammed his shoulder into the door busting it wide open. He fell to the ground but quickly picked himself up only to have his heart shattered. The scene in front of him made him burst into tears, he ran to Benji's side and pulled him out of the water.

He carried Benji to their room as care fully as he could without slipping. He laid Benji onto the ground and put his ear over his chest,......he heard nothing.


End file.
